Why Cruising Is Perfect for Otroverts
Maybe I’m Not an Extrovert After All
For most of my life, I assumed I was an extrovert.
After all, I’ve always enjoyed speaking in front of groups. Whether it was presenting at conferences, leading meetings, or trying to close a new business opportunity, I’ve never been afraid of a microphone. Put me in front of hundreds of people with something meaningful to talk about, and I’m surprisingly comfortable.
But invite me to a networking luncheon where everyone is expected to mingle with strangers? Or a dinner party where I know almost no one? I’d probably spend the drive there wondering if I could somehow leave early or just completely get out of it.
The funny thing, it isn’t that I don’t like people, quite the opposite.
Some of my favorite moments happen over a cup of coffee with one other person. I love hearing someone’s story. On a cruise, Susan and I often strike up conversations with another couple while waiting for the show to begin or watching sail-away from the top deck. I’ve had fascinating conversations in elevators that lasted less than two minutes but left me smiling for the rest of the afternoon.
What I’ve never really enjoyed is feeling like I need to become part of the crowd, or that I need to be “ON” in the moment.
So, when I recently started seeing a new personality term pop up all over social media, otrovert, I found myself stopping to read every article I could find.
The term was introduced by psychiatrist Dr. Rami Kaminski in 2025 and has since exploded across TikTok, Instagram, podcasts, and psychology blogs. While it’s still an emerging concept rather than an officially recognized personality framework, it has clearly resonated with people who have struggled to explain why they never quite fit neatly into the familiar “introvert” or “extrovert” boxes.
As I read more about it, I found myself thinking…“Wait…maybe that’s me.”
Whether otrovert ultimately becomes part of mainstream psychology or simply gives people a better vocabulary for describing themselves almost doesn’t matter. What caught my attention wasn’t that it was trendy, but that it described something I had never quite been able to put into words.
Then another thought hit me. Maybe that’s one of the reasons Susan and I love cruising so much.
Because the more I thought about it, the more I realized that cruising may be one of the best vacations ever designed for otroverts.
What Exactly Is an Otrovert?
The concept of the otrovert is still relatively new. Rather than focusing on where someone gets their social energy, Dr. Kaminski describes otroverts as people who enjoy meaningful connections with others but don’t necessarily feel a strong desire to belong to groups or social circles.
An otrovert isn’t necessarily shy and they aren’t antisocial, either.
In fact, they can be warm, confident, funny, outgoing, and excellent communicators. They may genuinely enjoy meeting new people and can be perfectly comfortable speaking in front of large audiences. What makes them different isn’t their ability to socialize but it’s that they don’t feel the same need to constantly surround themselves with people or identify with the crowd.
I like to think of it as being independently social.
It’s also worth acknowledging that otroversion hasn’t yet become an established psychological personality framework. Researchers will ultimately determine whether it becomes widely accepted or simply another useful way of describing a common human experience. Either way, judging by the thousands of conversations it’s generating online, the idea has clearly struck a chord.
You Might Be an Otrovert If…
As I was reading about the concept, several characteristics immediately jumped out at me. You don’t need to check every box, but if you find yourself nodding along to most of these, the idea may resonate with you too.
- You enjoy meaningful one-on-one conversations far more than working a room.
- You can comfortably speak in front of a large audience but dislike networking events.
- You enjoy meeting new people but don’t feel a strong need to belong to a particular group.
- You often feel more like an observer than a participant in large social gatherings.
- You value authenticity over popularity.
- You enjoy being around people without feeling the need to constantly interact.
- You’d rather have one memorable conversation than twenty forgettable ones.
If you’re smiling because several of those sound familiar, welcome to the club…assuming, of course, we don’t accidentally turn it into a club.
Maybe I Was Never an Extrovert
The more I thought about it, the more little moments from my own life started making sense.
I don’t avoid people, as I actually enjoy them. I just might enjoy them differently.
Give me an hour talking with another couple over dinner on a cruise, and I’m completely engaged. Give me a presentation to deliver, and I’ll happily spend the next hour answering questions afterward.
But put me in a room where the entire goal is to network? I’ll probably spend half the evening looking for the coffee station.
For years, I figured I was just a defective extrovert. I like people, but I just don’t necessarily like people the way extroverts are supposed to.
Maybe I’m not defective after all, and maybe I just didn’t have the right word. Interestingly, this isn’t the first time cruising has helped me understand something about myself. In Why Cruising is Perfect for Overthinkers, I shared how life onboard seems to quiet the constant mental chatter that many of us carry around every day. Looking back, I can’t help but wonder if those same personality traits are connected.
Whether the label ultimately sticks isn’t really the point. What matters is that it helped me better understand something about myself that had never quite made sense. And once I started looking at cruising through that lens, I realized many of the things I love most about being at sea aren’t just about the ship, the food, or the destinations.
They’re about the freedom to experience people, and solitude, exactly the way that feels right for me.
Why Cruising Feels Different
As I started thinking more about this idea of otroversion, I realized it wasn’t just describing my personality, as it was also helping explain why cruising has gradually become my favorite way to travel.
Most vacations seem to nudge us toward one end of the social spectrum. Resorts often revolve around organized activities and pool games. Guided tours keep everyone moving together from one attraction to the next. Even family vacations can quietly create the expectation that every meal, excursion, and evening should be spent together.
Cruising feels different.
It doesn’t ask you to be social, but it also doesn’t isolate you. Instead, it quietly gives you permission to experience people on your own terms. If you wake up one morning excited to join trivia, strike up conversations around the bar, or spend an afternoon talking with another couple over lunch, there’s always an opportunity waiting. But if the next day you simply want to find a quiet chair on the promenade deck with a good book and watch the ocean roll by, nobody thinks twice about it.
That flexibility is surprisingly freeing. For someone who enjoys connecting with people but doesn’t always feel the need to belong to the crowd, it feels like the vacation equivalent of finally being allowed to exhale. OK, maybe a bit dramatic, but if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck…
You’re Around People Without Always Being With People
One of my favorite things about cruising isn’t necessarily talking with other passengers, but it’s simply being around them.
Some of my happiest moments at sea involve sitting in the Piazza listening to live music while watching people come and go, reading on deck while people laugh nearby, or enjoying an early morning tea as the ship slowly wakes up around me. I don’t always feel the need to join every conversation or activity, but I genuinely enjoy being surrounded by the energy of other people.
That’s a feeling I don’t often experience on land.
At home, there’s a tendency to think of social situations as all or nothing. You’re either attending the party or you’re staying home. Cruises create a comfortable middle ground where you’re part of the atmosphere without feeling obligated to participate in every moment of it. For an otrovert, that balance can feel incredibly restorative.
Conversations That Simply…Happen
Ironically, some of the most memorable conversations I’ve had haven’t happened with lifelong friends or business acquaintances.
They’ve happened onboard cruise ships.
I’ve chatted with couples while waiting for the theater doors to open. I’ve spent half an hour talking with someone while waiting in line at Guest Services or for afternoon trivia to start, only to never see them again for the rest of the cruise. Some of the best conversations have started with nothing more than, “Is this your first time on this ship?”
Those interactions feel different because there’s no agenda attached to them.
Nobody is handing out business cards. Nobody is trying to impress anyone. Nobody is wondering what the other person does for a living or whether they’ll be useful someday. You’re simply two people sharing a small moment before continuing with your day.
As someone who has always preferred meaningful conversations over large social gatherings, I’ve come to appreciate just how refreshing those encounters can be. They remind me that connection doesn’t require commitment. Sometimes the best conversations are the ones that exist only in that moment.
Maybe That’s Why I Love Sea Days So Much
I’ve written before about why sea days have quietly become my favorite part of every cruise.
Maybe this personality concept helps explain why.
Sea days remove the pressure to constantly “do.” There isn’t a checklist of attractions waiting to be conquered or a schedule insisting you maximize every minute. Instead, the day unfolds however you want it to.
If I feel like wandering the ship, I wander. If Susan and I decide to spend an hour people-watching over a drink, that’s time well spent. If I disappear to our balcony with a book and spend an afternoon watching nothing but the ship’s wake, I never feel guilty that I’m somehow wasting my vacation.
Looking back, many of my favorite cruise memories aren’t tied to ports at all. They’re tied to conversations that weren’t planned, quiet moments that weren’t scheduled, and hours where absolutely nothing happened except watching the ocean pass by.
Perhaps that’s exactly the point.
If you’ve never understood why some of us can happily spend an entire day without stepping off the ship, you’re not alone. In fact, I explored that idea in much more detail in Why Sea Days Are Secretly the Best Part of a Cruise, where I argue that the best day of a cruise often isn’t spent in port at all.
The Real Gift of Cruising
Back in the day, Susan and I used to think we cruised for the buffet. Then we decided it must be the entertainment, and later, we convinced ourselves it was the incredible ports.
Those things are all wonderful, and they’re certainly part of the experience. But over the past few years, especially as I’ve been writing this Cruising & The Mind series, I’ve realized they’re probably not the real reason we keep coming back.
Cruising gives me permission to simply be myself.
Some mornings I genuinely enjoy talking with everyone I meet. Other afternoons I’m perfectly content sitting quietly on our balcony, saying almost nothing for an hour. Neither version of me feels out of place onboard. That’s surprisingly rare in everyday life.
Back home, it often feels like we’re expected to fit neatly into one category or another. You’re outgoing. You’re reserved. You’re the life of the party. You’re the quiet one.
Cruising doesn’t seem to care.
It doesn’t expect me to network. It doesn’t expect me to isolate myself either. Instead, it lets me decide, hour by hour, how much connection I want and what that connection looks like. Some days it’s a lively dinner conversation with another couple. Other days it’s simply exchanging smiles with strangers as we pass each other on deck.
The older I get, the more I appreciate vacations that don’t expect me to perform.
Maybe that’s one of the greatest gifts cruising offers. It quietly accepts every version of who I am without asking me to explain myself.
The more I think about it, the more I believe this is one piece of a much larger puzzle. If you’ve ever wondered why cruising feels fundamentally different than almost any other vacation, you may also enjoy The Psychology of Why Cruises Feel So Good, where I explore the science behind why life seems to slow down the moment we step onboard.
A Thought About the Cruising & The Mind Series
The more I write this Cruising & The Mind series, the more I realize these articles aren’t really about cruising at all.
They’re about us.
They’re about understanding why certain vacations make us feel lighter, calmer, happier, and somehow more like ourselves.
Whether we’ve explored why overthinkers love cruising, why sea days feel so restorative, or why couples with different travel styles often thrive onboard, the common thread is that cruising doesn’t change who we are, but it simply creates an environment where we become more comfortable being ourselves.
Perhaps that’s why these vacations stay with us long after we’ve unpacked our suitcases.
Final Thoughts
Whether the term otrovert eventually becomes as familiar as introvert or quietly fades into internet history really doesn’t matter.
What matters is that it gave me a different way to think about something I’ve experienced for years but never quite knew how to describe.
For the longest time, I figured I was just a defective extrovert. I loved talking with people, but not always in the ways extroverts were supposedly supposed to. I enjoyed meaningful conversations but dreaded networking events. I felt completely comfortable speaking to hundreds of people, yet oddly uncomfortable making small talk in a room full of strangers.
If you’ve ever found yourself happiest talking with one interesting person instead of twenty acquaintances… if you’ve ever preferred watching the sunset from a quiet deck chair to joining another organized activity… or if you’ve ever realized that simply being around people can feel every bit as satisfying as constantly interacting with them, you may recognize a little of yourself in this idea too.
And maybe that’s another reason cruising feels so different. Out there, somewhere between the open ocean and the next port, nobody expects me to be an introvert. Nobody expects me to be an extrovert, and I simply get to be me.
And perhaps that’s the most relaxing vacation of all.
